The Post Wherein We Send a Package

Dear one,

I have to tell you that I’m nervous. I sent a package recently to another family that is adopting through our agency. They have agreed to deliver it to the in-country staff when they travel to Addis Ababa to pick up their new daughter. The in-country staff will then deliver this package to you!

I received word this morning that this sweet family has received clearance from the embassy and will be travelling right away.

Honestly, I’m a wreck.

The first time that your new brothers actually saw me and your new daddy, it was in a hospital room through eyes smeared with an antibiotic ointment.

I was a wreck then as well. My sweaty face was framed with damp, frizzy hair, pulled back into a ponytail. Through the process of each of their births, that ponytail worked its way off to one side. I know that I roll around a lot in my sleep, and the side ponytail proves the habit comes also in labor.

With you, this first tangible interaction will be so very different. You are older. You will remember this package.

We prayed, as we have every step of this long process, over what to put in the package. It is not a lot, for we needed to respect the family that is so graciously delivering it. They have baggage weight/space constraints.

Among other things, it had

• A small photo album…
• A picture of you…Have you ever seen a picture of yourself?
• Pictures of each of the brothers, with their names…
• Pictures of myself and your daddy…
• Pictures of your new grandparents…
• Pictures of our home…
• A Houston Texans baseball cap, which I am now wishing I had replaced with a Houston Dynamo one. You, like the rest of the non-American world, prefer soccer. Next package, I promise…
• A card game that requires no English and no reading…I bought one for us at home, too…Will you feel comfortable seeing something that you might have played while at the orphanage or Transition Home?
• Hot Wheels cars…You will certainly have a chance to play with similar ones here. Your Pa, my father, likes to pick Hot Wheels cars for each of the boys’ stockings at Christmas.

In fact, choosing those items was a bit like stuffing a Christmas stocking. You don’t know what a stocking is, but you will. And, you already have one. It has hung on our mantle for three Christmas seasons.

The nerves that I feel come with the realization that this is my first time to interact with you. And, there is no blur of eye ointment this time. There is no buffer of years too early to remember.

Sweet boy, I’m praying that you receive that package and that you are not disappointed. I’m praying that the time between now and our first hug is short. I’m praying that all of the paperwork and clearances and appointments go smoothly. I’m praying for wisdom. I’m praying for patience and protection. I’m praying for grace and mercy in this process.

I’m praying for you. I’m praying for us.

I love you,

Momma